#like i need to just get some sun and sit somewhere that isn't my bed when i'm drawing lol

[peachhcs]

my girl

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

on a similar note of will not playing about samy, here's him comforting her up at the lake house after finding about the ed she's been struggling with all school year & basically making sure she knows she's loved and has a whole group of people for her to lean on in through the tough times

i didn't think i'd make a part 2 to this but i got inspired and this came to me :) (p.s. i know the hughes lake house isn't on lake michigan but let's pretend for the au)

warnings: depiction of ed, mental health struggles, please read with caution if this triggers you

au masterlist | part 1

it was a warm morning on lake michigan. the slow rising sun was the perfect temperature to sit outside and soak up the early morning rays, so that was exactly what samy did. she woke up early this morning and not wanting to wake up will with her constant tossing and turning, she decided to just get up. the girl wandered outside hoping the quiet morning would help refresh her foggy mind.

she sat with a bowl of yogurt jack brought out for her since him and quinn were awake trying to tinker with things that needed replacements after being gone a whole year. the first few weeks back on the lake house were always so like this as her brothers got things up and running again.

unfortunately, the yogurt had hardly been touched for almost an hour now. it sat unmoving in the girl's lap, the thoughts in her brain still running wild with anxieties and what ifs. she didn't know what it was because no matter how hard she tried pushing those thoughts away, they just came back stronger with a way more vicious bite.

you're gonna get fat. you shouldn't be eating this. it has too much artificial sugar. what would will think of you if you gained weight? you're gonna be unconditioned come soccer season.

those were just a peak of what plagued samy's mind on a daily basis.

she forced herself to eat a few bites when luke sat with her knowing she needed to be proving to her brothers that she was getting better even though she really wasn't. that was their deal. samy ate the things they gave her and they wouldn't get their parents involved. it seemed so easy.

oh how wrong the younger hughes sister was.

when luke got up and left samy stopped forcing herself to eat and then another half hour passed without another bite being touched. samy's stomach rumbled for something more, but she just couldn't do it. instead, she needed to move, so the girl left the bowl on the table and decided to head down to the dock.

with it being so early still, the boats wouldn't be out yet, so it'd be the perfect spot to just listen to the quiet splashes of waves hitting against the dock.

will shifted to his other side, expecting to find his girlfriend but finding nothing except a cold space where her body once was. the boy's eyes quickly opened, groaning when the sunlight went right into his vision. he reached for samy's side to check one more time that she wasn't there and when he felt nothing for a second time, he opened his eyes again.

he half expected her to be somewhere in the room, but he quickly realized that she wasn't anywhere close by. will grabbed his phone, groggy eyes reading the time. 8:45am. he knew samy was a morning person, but this early in the summer? her absence forced him up to do a more thorough scan of her room to make sure he didn't miss her somewhere like the bathroom or something.

her phone wasn't on the nightstand though which confirmed to will that she left the room. the blonde frowned a bit as he found a shirt to throw on and pulled a hand through his bed head to go downstairs. he heard some noise coming from the kitchen and will perked up hoping it was samy.

it still wasn't her. quinn and jack glanced his way when he entered. "morning, smitty," jack grinned.

"you're up early," luke commented from the counter.

"have you seen samy?" will's voice was heavily laced with sleep still.

"she was outside last time i saw her. on the deck," luke nodded his head towards the door.

the sharks rookie pressed his face against the glass and frowned again when there was no sign of his girlfriend out there. "not there," he mumbled, but he did see a hardly eaten bowl of yogurt on the table.

"she was out there. maybe she went to do something," luke shrugged.

"all i see is a bowl of yogurt."

will noticed how the three brothers exchanged a glance he couldn't really read when he said that. a mix of worry and something else sat in their expressions, but the younger boy didn't ask because he didn't wanna pry. he knew samy was struggling with her eating disorder, but he hadn't dared to ask yet how bad it was or if she had gotten better at all when gabe told him a week ago. will figured she hadn't made a lot of progress yet based on the full bowl of yogurt outside.

that idea made his heart sink.

will looked out the glass doors again hoping samy was out there somewhere and he just missed her the first time. finally, the blonde spotted a figure all the way down on the dock and this time he knew it was samy.

"i think i found her," the boy mumbled and grabbed a blanket off the back of one of the chairs before making his way outside.

quinn, jack, and luke exchanged another glance but for a different reason this time. they watched as will went down the yard to the water figuring he saw samy all the way down there. "he'll get her better, i know he will," luke mumbled.

"you think so?" jack wondered.

"he will. he's got her," luke nodded.

samy didn't hear will coming until she felt gentle hands wrapping a soft blanket over her shoulders and a kiss on her head. the brunette looked up, somewhat surprised to see her boyfriend above her.

"hi, pretty girl," he rasped still full of sleep.

"did i wake you?" samy wondered worriedly as she watched him sit down next to her.

"no, you didn't," it wasn't a lie, will never heard her leave. his body just woke him up because samy wasn't near him anymore.

"what are you doing down here?" samy hugged the blanket closer to her body.

"i saw you down here," will said simply and samy blushed. "you looked like you could use some company," the boy added which deepened samy's red cheeks.

"you're sweet. i appreciate the company," she leaned further into him and will reached out to wrap his arm around her shoulders. he landed another kiss on her temple.

"sleep okay?"

"yeah, i guess. i felt kind of restless," samy admitted.

"any reason why?" will was never one to pry too much. he always wanted to samy to tell him things on her own without him having to get her to say it which is why he was trying to ease his way into this conversation.

"oh, i dunno. everything. i always got a lot going on in my mind."

"penny for your thoughts?" the little saying made the girl giggle. will loved saying that whenever they were trying to talk but the words weren't coming easy.

samy hesitated for a moment though. she knew she could tell will anything, he was her boyfriend after all, but talking about the eating disorder she's been struggling with the past year actually didn't come easy. she never really spoke to him about it. back at that boston college game, she played it off as everything just overwhelming her even though samy knew deep down that it was inability to eat anything without stressing herself out.

knowing that it was an issue back then and she couldn't even admit it made it hard for her to admit to it now, especially to will because they promised no more secrets.

will caught onto her hesitation. he squeezed her arm and then made her look over at him. "i don't wanna force you to talk about it if you don't want to, but you know i'm here for you, right? i always am," the blonde hummed.

his soft words were almost gut wrenching because samy thought he should be mad at her for not telling him about this and making gabe tell him for her. the brunette ashamedly looked away, struggling to find her words.

it broke will's heart to see her like this. maybe he didn't notice it right away because he didn't see her frequently, but looking at her now, he could definitely tell.

"i feel like i don't know how to get better," the soccer player finally admitted in a whisper will nearly missed it.

he cupped her chin so she'd look at him again, "baby, you are foing to get better. it won't be easy, but you will."

his soft tone brought the tears again and the hockey player's heart broke into a million pieces seeing his girlfriend so distraught. he's never seen her so upset before, but he brought her into his arms nonetheless because she needed that comfort.

"i'm right here. it's okay. it's gonna be okay," he rocked her similarly to how luke rocked her a few weeka ago after finally admitting to her brothers the reality of the situation. will felt her cry even harder into his shoulder.

"you should be like..mad at me for not telling you. you didn't even know," samy pulled back.

"i'm not mad. i'd never be mad. maybe i'm a little upset i didn't know, but this isn't something where you just know. it's there, it's not, it's there, it's not. i'd never be mad at you for something like this, baby," will wiped her tears away with his palms.

"i should have told you sooner or someone sooner..i just..fuck..i didn't even know what wad wrong with me. or maybe i did and i just didn't want to think it was this. god, will, i'm so scared i won't be able to get better," samy buried her face in his chest.

will's known samy her whole life and never once has he heard her become this deprecating about herself. it hurt real bad seeing her struggle, but not being able to do much about it. instead, he hugged her to him hoping the comfort of his arms would ease some of those racing thought for a few minutes.

"you are going to get better, samy, i promise. you have so many people wanting you to get better too. we're all here for you through this."

"what if you start fucking hating me or wanting to break up with me because i gained weight or because i'm so pathetic i can't even eat anything," will knew it was her head talking, but he hated hearing it so much.

"first, you're not pathetic. second, no matter what you do or what you look like, you will always be my girl. nothing can ever change that for me, okay? i love you," will promised seriously. samy flushed, but she believed him. her heart fluttered hearing him call her "my girl."

"what can i do to help you through this? do you want me to make you something every day? eat with you? sit with you while you eat?" will offered options he thought could be helpful.

"maybe eating with me? not that i wanna force myself, but eating with someone helps me eat because i feel obligated to," samy admitted and she knew that was something she needed to work on so eating wasn't some obligation in her mind.

"okay, i can do that. i'll eat with you all summer, even when i'm away," will grinned and the smile on his lips made samy smile too.

"i love you," the brunette kissed her boyfriend's cheek where his slight stubble scratched her lips. she ran her finger along it where will flexed his jaw under her touch.

"i love you, baby. you got a lot of people here this summer looking after you. you're gonna get through this," he clasped her trailing finger into his hand where he brougt it up to his lips to kiss.

the couple stayed out there as early morning became late morning and the rest of the house woke up. jack peeked out of the doors again while a soft smile spread acorss his lips seeing samy and will out there together.

"how is she?" ethan yawned while making his coffee.

jack scraped the yogurt she didn't eat into the garbage, "with will, i think she'll be just fine."

[junkdyke]

things i wanna do this year that could be fun inspo if you're looking for things to do outside of the house

go to jazz lounges for live music and vibes, looking all cute and classy sipping wine with my friends

take classes and workshops! Ceramics, woodworking, my friend said he wants to take a voiceacting class, glasswork, welding, etc

go cruising around on my longboard, mainly at the beach along the bike path, looking at the ocean, listening to music, vibing

volunteer now that i have the time post-grad!! I'm hoping to give time to the LGBT center, women's shelter, and a general unhoused center or group

join a knitting/crochet group, go sit at the park and crochet

have more art-making days with my friends, painting or sewing or w/e together

join in on a mural painting

more live music in general, concerts, small local shows

go to some orchestras all fancy with my friends

go crystal hunting and collecting rocks in the desert

go camping, like proper camping

go fishing (on a boat!!!)

find some random, niche conventions to attend

i'm going to a metal show that's in a museum lmao

more community meetups, going to a black queer bonfire this month

start playing guitar again

my friend said he'd learn how to surf with me if i let him teach me how to snowboard

tabling and vending at more markets and conventions

keep an eye out for more small art galleries and popups

just music and vibes and checking out different kinds of events that aren't exactly the usual go-to clubs and events, maybe helping to organize more creative group outings :)

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Part IV

Word count: +4300

Warnings: angst (the scene with father made me cry while I was writing it), mentions of blood and frostbites, not properly proofread (sorryyyy)

Part III | Part V

An hour later, I was still standing in front of the mirror, calling his name and trying to open the passageway to no avail. Clearly, this was the reason why I didn't need to know how to get to Kallias' chambers that Millie mentioned before, but how - for the love of Mother - was I supposed to open it? I tried pressing ornaments on the frame, I even touched the glass like Kallias did and nothing. Did he block it? Or.. did I need magic to open it?

At last, I gave up, sitting on the edge of mattress, thinking. If it could only be opened with magic, then I wouldn't be able to use it - not that I wanted to bother Winter prince in his bedroom. After I had my one and fortunately only outburst of fire magic as a child, I did everything I could to extinguish the flames within me and suppress any powers I had. I had no idea how to summon even the smallest bits of it nor how to wield it.

Eventually, I crawled under the warm blankets, mentally and physically exhausted. Yet sleep kept eluding me and I spent the rest of the night tossing around. It gave me enough time to think about, well, everything. By the time morning came, I had made several important decisions.

I thought a lot about Kallias and his feelings for Viviane, and I realized that I didn't want to stand in his way. For some reason, I already liked him quite a bit and cared for him. If possible, I'd like to be his friend and support him, maybe even help him be with the one to whom his heart belonged.

That also meant that I couldn't fall in love with him in the process, which was probably the hardest part of my plan as he was too attractive and nice. I couldn't imagine a person who wouldn't like someone like him. The fact that he was also my husband, made it even worse. While my head was clear about it, my heart kept whispering. I had no claim on him nor his feelings and I knew it. Demanding such things from him just because we were forced into marriage, wasn't right.

I was in the middle of contemplating how to refrain from falling in love with him when a knock sounded on the door.

"You can come in," I said as I sat up and hissed when a sharp pain shot through my head. Exhaustion wasn't a strong enough word to describe how I felt. After not sleeping at all, I felt weak and nauseous. I definitely wasn't in state to get up, but today was the day my father would return home and I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could.

Millie peeked in. "I saw young master and thought you might be up, milady." She frowned when she noticed the mostly untouched bed, but the dark circles under my eyes were convincing enough.

"How.. how did he look?"

"Like he didn't sleep much, I'd say." She opened the curtains, letting in the rays of morning sun. I squinted, my headache getting instantly worse.

"Uhm."

"Is something wrong? Should I get you a healer?" Millie hurried to me with worry.

"It isn't necessary," I pushed through clenched teeth. "I just need- uhm.."

"Headache, right?" Millie was immediately on her feet, running to what I guessed was walk-in closet. "I think I saw it somewhere around here," she mumbled as she searched one of the dressers inside. "Ah, there it is."

After getting my medicine, the pain subsided to a bearable level and soon I was able to stand up and change. Millie was so kind that she brought the breakfast to my room, and I wobbled to the sitting room.

"Milady, your father would like to visit you, but if you're feeling unwell, I'll tell him that you can't-.."

I put my tea down, surprised. "No, please. I'd like to talk with him, too."

With a bow, she left and soon my father appeared at the threshold. I was so relieved to see him. This was our last chance to spend some time together for a while. Both of us knew it and we both wanted to make the most of it. Father was quite worried when he saw my face, asking me a lot of questions. Unfortunately, for many of them I couldn't provide an answer. With every question I couldn't answer, his brows furrowed more.

"So at least tell me - is the young prince good to you?"

"Yesterday, he was really kind and mindful. I think we will get along well once we get to know each other better. Did you speak with him?"

"I had the pleasure. He appeared in the High Lord's office before the ceremony. When I finished speaking with his father, he offered to show me around and asked me all sorts of questions about you. I didn't tell him about your powers - that's something I will leave up to you and your judgment - but I made sure he knows about your health issues. He seemed like a good male to me. And surprisingly, so did his father."

"Yeah.. I have a similar impression," I mumbled weakly.

"He reassured me that we can see each other any time we'd like. So if something happens or you need anything, just send me a message and I'll come. If necessary, I will take you back home, my sweet girl." His eyes were gleaming with tears and I also had a hard time holding back mine.

Then we talked about anything that came to our minds, just as we usually did. It was nice to be able to do so, yet it saddened me even more. Back home, we did this almost every day. Knowing that from now on, he would be too far for maintain our tradition, hurt. After having lunch together, a servant stopped by to announce that the sleigh was ready. As we descended to the ground floor, the feeling of uneasiness I had felt last night reappeared, making it hard for me to draw a full breath.

Kallias and his father were waiting in the foyer, kind smiles on their faces. Again, I couldn't but notice how similar they were in appearance as well as behavior. Their goodbyes were so shockingly warm, as if they were bidding farewell to a dear friend and not to someone they had just met the day before, making sure my father knew that he was always welcome to come again. However, when Morena appeared, their behavior was rather reserved and aloof.

While my new family exchanged farewells with the old one, my attention moved to Kallias, whom I hadn't seen since the incident last night. Just as Millie told me, he looked tired and pale, maybe even a bit uncomfortable. His gaze was focused solely on the leaving guests. I hoped I would have the chance to talk with him later. I wanted to explain events of last night and reassure him that it wasn't his fault.

I followed my father down the stairs to the waiting sleigh. Millie, who trailed after us, stayed near the doors, giving us privacy to say our goodbyes. Morena dryly recited the parting words and got into the sleigh. Father raised a brow, experiencing her coldness toward me for the first time, but I only shook my head.

"Are you sure you can't stay here longer?"

"I'd love to, my little girl, but I need to return to the borders. Solstice is getting closer and I have to ensure every village is prepared and stocked with enough food," he caressed my cheek.

"I will miss you," I sobbed, unable to hold my tears back.

"Me too," he pulled me into a hug, protecting me from cold wind.

"I have a bad feeling about it," I admitted for the first time.

"No need," he rubbed my back. " I will write you a letter as soon as we arrive and then every day after."

"That's not the same."

"I know, believe me, I know. Without you, our home will feel so lonely and empty."

"Please, take good care of yourself."

"You too, Y/N. Be a good girl as usual and don't be afraid to let others know when you need help. Don't suffer alone. If anything, trust at least young Kallias, your husband. He swore to take good care of you and I hope he'll keep his word. Be happy."

With a last squeeze and a kiss on my forehead, father released me and got into the sleigh, taking a seat next to visibly displeased Morena. I instantly felt so cold and lonely without his presence.

The sleigh slightly jerked as it began moving, taking my only family away. Even though I was shivering, cold biting into my body, I stood there watching them until they passed the gate and disappeared into the labyrinth of streets and even long after that, until the sound of jingle bells faded into the distance. I waited a bit longer, hoping that wind would bring their distant sound multiplied by an echo in the gorge as they traveled down the narrow road to the gates, but the only things I could hear, were distant sounds of life in the city.

I tugged my fur cloak closer and slowly turned back to the castle, admiring its tall towers, so different from the castle where I grew up. My new home. My heart sank at that thought. Could I really call this place home?

The icy-cold north wind brought a few snowflakes, swirling and freely dancing in this open space, and I shivered, already losing feeling in my fingers, tears freezing on my face. The headache was growing stronger again, pain coming in waves. I took maybe three steps before I felt something warm and wet coming out of my nose.

Oh my, how embarrassing, I thought, trying to cover it with hand.

Honestly, I thought it was just snot, but when I checked my fingers, they were stained red. After that, everything happened too quickly. It wasn't my first nosebleed nor did it scare me. At that moment, my only concern was to get in quickly and find the closest bathroom. I managed to reach halfway up the stairs leading to the castle's entrance when my body swayed, my legs buckling, and world started to tilt to the side. A sharp pain blinded me and the last thing I remembered was the feeling of falling.

I was groping in the darkness, freezing and burning simultaneously. Later, I wasn't sure about it, but I thought I had dreams, flashes of light when I saw Kallias leaning over me, brows knitted together, his lips moving without making a sound. Sometimes he just sat there, watching me, sometimes he reached for something I couldn't see or gently touched my cheek.

In that state I completely lost track of time. The sense of feeling was the first of my senses to awaken. I was surrounded by warmth, comforting yet heavy, pressing on my chest and pushing me into something soft beneath me. After a while, I cracked my eyes open, blinking away the pain. This place was so bright, light pouring in through the open curtains. As my eyes adjusted, I recognized my new bedroom. How did I get here?

I search my memory, but last thing I clearly remembered was rushing up the stairs outside because my nose was bleeding. Groaning, I pushed the heavy blankets aside and sat up. Carefully I checked on myself. The dress had been replaced by soft cotton nightgown and I felt tired, but headache was gone for now as was the nosebleed.

"Thank the Mother, you are awake, milady," Millie's a bit high-pitched voice snapped me out of my thoughts. She had just come in from the bathroom, wiping her wet hands on her white apron, and she rushed to my side. "We were so worried when you suddenly passed out on the stairs. If it hadn't for young master, you could have seriously hurt yourself."

She hopped up, sitting on the edge of mattress and pressed her cool hand to my forehead and my hands. "Thankfully, the fever is now completely gone and you aren't freezing anymore. You really had us worried. Even the best healer in the castle couldn't say what was going on."

"I don't understand," I blinked in confusion. "Didn't I just pass out because of a migraine?"

"Well, you probably did, but I wasn't here the whole time and didn't hear everything the healer said. I had to leave to bring blankets and other things she ordered me to fetch. The young master spoke with her. I returned in time to hear her explaining to him that your body was burning with fever while freezing and that she had never encountered anything like that. To be honest, I don't understand much to that."

"I see.. I'm sorry for worrying you, Millie."

"It's nothing, milady. I'm happy you feel better already."

I fiddled nervously, unsure how to ask about the certain thing that caught my attention, my cheeks heating up "Millie.. umm.. You mentioned that Kallias caught me?"

Her eyes grew bigger, a wide smile adorning her heart-shaped face. Her expression conveyed a pure adoration. She placed hands over her heart, leaning closer. "You should have seen it, milady. I saw something wasn't right with you, but I knew I couldn't get to you in time. I was so scared. I already pictured you hitting the stairs, breaking a bone or even worse when suddenly, the young master appeared, right next to you. He caught you mid-air and scooped you into his arms. It would have been so romantic, if you hadn't been bleeding so much," she retold the events enthusiastically, gesturing about. It certainly wasn't the first time she had told this to someone.

I hated to admit it, but my heart was hammering in my chest as her story unfolded. Adding random small details, she vividly described how Kallias carried me to my room, took me to the bathroom to stop the nosebleed, and then carefully placed me on the bed when the healer arrived. It was hard to imagine he would go such lengths for someone like me, but apparently he did.

"And then the young master stayed by your side all night, taking care of you completely alone until early morning when finally your fever went down," she concluded her story with a dreamy expression.

I sat there, speechless, trying to convince myself that he did such things solely because he was a good person and because of the promise. Who knows, maybe father somehow tricked him into taking an oath. I knew his heart already belonged to someone else, so why didn't mine want to accept it, whispering sweet lies?

"Are you okay, milady? Perhaps you should lie back down," Millie gave me a worried look, again checking my temperature.

"I'm fine," I tried to smile. "Actually, I'd like to change and go down for breakfast."

As expected, Millie protested and I had to convince her to let me get up. An hour later, I walked into family dining room, much smaller than the one where the wedding party took place, yet impressive in its size and decor. Sets of round and long tables were randomly placed around the space, each chair and bench inviting one to take a seat and eat the delicious-looking food arranged on plates and trays in the middle of tables. Several spots were already taken by importantly looking lords, but aside from Lord Isen who delivered High Lord's message, I didn't recognize anyone.

My eyes wandered to the long table in the back of the room, near the window, and there, sitting on the bench, I spotted him.

Dressed in a uniform that seemed to be his usual attire, Kallias looked even more tired than the last time I saw him, but his posture was relaxed, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He was immersed in conversation with Viviane, who sat next to him and was currently laughing at something.

I hesitated. Maybe I should let him enjoy those moments and try to thank him later.

Yeah, that would be for the best.

I was about to leave when Viviane looked up, her shock immediately replaced by a bright smile.

"Y/N! Come! Come and sit down, dear!" she called, making space between them for me. Kallias quickly looked me over and then looked down, that sweet smile gone. I bit the inside of my cheek. Now that they saw me, it would be strange to leave.

"Hi, Viviane.. Kallias."

Viviane patted the bench between them, her brows knitting slightly together. "How are you, dear? We all were so worried when we heard what happened. Do you feel better?"

"I'm fine now," I smiled and stepped to Kallias' other side. Surprise flashed across his features, but he moved closer to Viviane to make room for me on the end of bench. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

Viviane pouted her full lips, her gaze darting to Kallias in silent question. He slightly shook his head, his shoulders a bit tense. It took a few minutes, but at last, conversation had picked up again, with Viviane cheerfully leading it. I took it as a good sign when Kallias relaxed and continued with his breakfast, matching our pace and occasionally adding something to my plate. When it happened for the first time, I was more than surprised. He mumbled something about me needing to eat properly to get stronger and returned to his meal.

Viviane's attention focused solely on me, asking me random questions, completely ignoring Kallias. He seemed content watching her expressive face, flashing a grin here and there, though I could say that he often felt awkward and lonely, sitting between us like an invisible wall. That's why I tried to turn the conversation to him at every opportunity.

We were almost done with the breakfast when, out of nowhere, I felt an urgent need to look up. The unpleasant feeling of being watched made me turn to the doors. The person I saw there.. I didn't expect that..

My stepbrother Zima just walked in with arrogant smile, his gaze burning holes into me. All the blood drained from my face, the contents of my stomach threatening to return. This couldn't be... He was supposed to leave, so why?

Dipping his chin in acknowledgment, he headed to the table where Lord Isen was seated, his eyes still on me.

"Y/N.. What's wrong?" Both Viviane and Kallias watched me warily, probably expecting me to faint.

"W-what is he doing here?"

I didn't need to say his name. They exchanged glances. Viviane was the one to answer me.

"I heard he is so worried about you feeling lonely in your new home, that he decided to stay. Aren't you glad he's here?"

I couldn't answer. I had such a bad feeling about this. I'd never felt safe around him, but I had confidence in my father's protection as if it could hold him back from seriously hurting me. But here..? I was stripped of the only security I had in my life. What could keep him on chain here? This place was huge, full of strangers who couldn't care less about me. If he pushed me into some dark corner in a deserted part of the castle, who would bother looking for me?

The more I thought about it, the less I could control the tremor of my hands, so I put down the fork and hid them in my skirt, hoping that my companions hadn't noticed. Thankfully, they seemed to be fully focused on cleaning their plates.

After they were done, Kallias was the first to leave. Not wanting to stay in the same room as Zima alone, I hurried after him, focusing on my previous plans.

I caught up to him in one of many corridors.

"Kallias? Would you have a minute?"

He stopped but didn't look at me.

"I'd like to apologize for what happened t-that night. You have been avoiding me since then, even though it wasn't your fault."

"I hurt you," his voice was distant. Under the thick layer of ice that was protecting him from outside world, I heard hurt and remorse. "It won't happen again. I assure you."

As he said what he needed, he was ready to leave me behind. I wouldn't allow that.

"Kallias! Please, listen to me!" He froze in mid-motion, finally looking at me over his shoulder with a raised brow. Now that I had his full attention.. I lost my courage and with it, the whole speech I had prepared for this occasion vanished.

"I-.. You already know that I'm not like others. Honestly, I'm weak.. What happened that night.. if it had been someone else, they wouldn't even have noticed.. So don't blame yourself for my.. incompetence.."

He said nothing, but it was clear he didn't believe me. Well.. I had to prove my point then. Before he could stop me, I yanked the closest window open and grabbed the thick icicle blocking the view. The pain of burning was immediate and I hissed. In the blink of an eye, Kallias was next to me, pulling me away from the window.

"Are you crazy?" He kept his voice low. He checked if we were alone and then carefully opened my hand. The entire skin of my palm and fingers was red with small blisters here and there. He was mad now for sure. "Such recklessness!"

He pushed me into the empty sitting room and warded the door. Placing an armchair closer to the hearth, he bid me to sit down. The Winter prince dropped to one knee in front of me, closely inspecting my palm. He let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry. Thinking it's for the best to keep my distance I caused.. this," he sighed. He was having a hard time, looking for the words. "I meant to give this to you sooner, but I didn't know how-" He pulled a small container from his pocket and opened it. The well-known smell of herbs tickled my nose and I hummed, knowing what it was. He dipped a finger into the cream and with feather-light touches, he began spreading it over the irritated skin. The relief was immediate.

"Thank you, and thank you also for yesterday. Millie told me.."

"Millie?" he halted, thinking. "Ah, you mean your maid.."

He again scooped a bit of cream on his finger and continued his careful treatment.

"Would you-.." After a while, he broke the silence, mumbling. "How is it even possible that you are this fragile? I've never heard of this. It's - to be honest - hard to believe that one can get this hurt just by briefly touching a piece of ice. All the halflings I know, inherited at least some resistance to cold."

He said it calmly, without any taunts or prejudices. I wondered whom he was talking about and where he had met them. Halflings, as he referred to someone like me, were rare in seasonal courts and were always looked down upon. We were seen as a mistake of nature, something that shouldn't even exist. Solar courts, on the other hand, were quite welcoming and didn't care for one's origin - or so I read in the books my father had in his library. As a Winter prince, Kallias certainly had many opportunities to travel. He probably met them while visiting other courts.

I bit on my bottom lip, thinking how to explain my handicap without revealing the real reason - thus that it was caused by suppressing my fire magic, my true nature. "Well, it wasn't always like this," I started hesitantly. "I remember playing outside in the snow as a child, touching it even without gloves. I used to spend hours outside and my parents had a really hard time getting me inside to at least eat."

Kallias' lips curled into a small smile. He was focused on my hurt hand, but he was listening intently.

"It happened shortly after my mum died and father-.. They were mates. My father was disappearing before my eyes. I was scared I would lose him, too," shiver ran down my spine and I tugged the fur cloak closer with my good hand. Just remembering that brought tears to my eyes. Kallias sat back on his heels, his gaze narrowed at me.

"I gradually got weaker. At first, I had just less energy than before. After some time, I had to stop going out without proper clothes. Years later.. I got this weak. Fevers, migraines, nosebleeds, this," I waved my slowly healing hand.

"I see," was all he said. I could literally see that he had something on the tip of his tongue. He didn't say it aloud, though. I grew scared that I revealed too much and that he guessed the real cause. A lump rose in my throat, my pulse quickened.

He closed the container he still held, and taking my healthy hand, he placed it on my palm. "Thank you for.. your honesty," he smiled kindly, but it did nothing to settle my fear. "If you run out of this, let me know. I'll get you a new one."

I just nodded. As if sensing my unease, he reached up and cupping my cheek, caressed me. "You can trust me. No need to be hesitant or scared. I'm your husband, after all. No matter what, I'll protect you from now on."

Taglist: @tenshis-cake

[woozvc]

promises.

pt.2 of this fic - better left unsaid

synopsis - mingyu can't let you go.

pairing — mingyu x gn!reader

genre/s — hurt-comfort,minor fluff??

a/n - this isn't my best work but I had so many people asking for part 2 so I had to write it 😭😭 I'm not good at writing hurt comfort so pls forgive and focus on mingyu <3

w/c - 1k ish

“y/n get up”

you groan and pull the blanket over your head, wanting to block the sunlight coming into the room. your best friend was kind enough to let you crash on her couch for the night, but you forgot she had a life, work in the morning.

“give me 5 more minutes” you snuggle into the warmth of the couch.

“y/n if you don't get up I swear I'll call up mingyu right now- oh okay damn that was fast”

she stares at you as u immediately get up and give her a annoyed look

“did he really hurt you that bad?”

did he? it's something you also didn't know the answer to. honestly speaking you were mad at mingyu but somewhere in your heart you wanted to forgive him. somewhere in your heart made you think that maybe he never meant it, maybe it was really the heat of the moment

“he hasn't called” you look over to your phone, staring at it. it's silent, no notifications from mingyu asking you where you where or anything. it was completely silent

“he's doing what you asked him to” your friend hands you a glass of water

“I have work but you can stay here as long as you want, don't think about the fight too much okay? from what you've told me, he seems like an amazing dude, maybe it really was a heat of the moment thing? anyway don't rot here all day, if you can go out get some sun” she gives you a small hug and a smile. you nod and say goodbye to her.

the rest of the day goes by quick. all you do is sit on her couch and watch some shows. you thought of cooking something but it kept reminding you of last night so you let it go

it's about 7pm when the door bell rings. you get up to open it, fully expecting your best friend to be standing on the other side. but its not. instead it's a man.

“oh”

oh.

you meet his eyes. he looks the same as he did last night. you don't look better yourself, messy hair and puffy face.

“can I come in?”

“this isn't my house”

“then can you come out?

“I don't know”

mingyu runs his hands through his hair and sighs. he looks at you one last time before sitting down right in front of you and looking up at you.

“mingyu what are you doing..”

“what I should've done yesterday” he looks directly at you, his eyes threatening with tears.

“I get you want to be left alone y/n but I can't do this. I need you to know I'm sorry. I can't let you go to bed mad at me. you don't have to speak to me but please just listen to me?” he looks at you pleading. if the atmosphere was different, you would've laughed at him, told him how he looks like a puppy sitting at the foot of the door.

you don't say anything though. you slowly slide down the door and sit next to him, looking away.

“y/n, you're the love of my life. I've never loved anyone like I love you. what I said yesterday…I regret it. I know that's not enough, I know you have every right to not believe me. but I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I wasn't thinking, I had too much anger and frustration which just burst on you and I'm sorry okay? you don't have to forgive me but please, please believe me when I say I'm sorry?” his voice was shaking. he was trying not to cry and speak as clear as he could but he was failing. he took a deep breath through his tears

“you don't have to contact me right now, talk to me when you want to, I'll leave you alone for now” he started getting up slowly when you grabbed his arm and made him sit down again. you finally look at him again.

“I'm still mad at you, but I'll let it go for now. I want you to promise me this won't happen again.”

mingyu smiles, wiping the tears off his face

“I promise, I swear on my life I'll never speak out of frustration again, I promise.”

you nod, holding your hand out to him “okay, let's go home.”

mingyu pulls you into a hug, buring his face in the crook of your neck and smiling. you hug him back, just enjoying his warmth for a while.

you hear footsteps and look up

“you guys are so cringe.. ugh you're going to let bugs into my appartment please leave or get in or do something so I can close my door”

you laugh, glad mingyu didn't leave this unsaid.

[jhoneybees]

The Cowboy and The Beekeeper.(Chapter 1)

Hello sir🫠

Welcome to the first chapter of my first series!! I'm so excited to see what you all think and hope you all like it :) this chapter is written in a third person's point of view but don't worry the other chapters will be written in a second point of view and the reader doesn't have age regression in the first chapter, they will get it tho, I promise☝️ Thank you to everyone who took part on the poll! I would've had a hard time choosing😅

Taglist: @hooked-on-elvis @scarlettlight06

Characters: 60s!Cowboy!Elvis X Beekeeper!fem!Reader

Warnings/triggers: third person pov, mentions of blood, injuries, wounds,guns, bullets

____________________________________________

Deep red descending from a painful wound on his arm, caused by an enemy’s hot pistol. Elvis wearing a green buttoned up shirt that's torn and in need of repair. He rides his stallion far and long in the never ending landscapes of distant mountains, scattering heights of green trees and grass. He’s exhausted and the blazing sun beaming down on his tan skin isn't helping. Creating an uncomfortably warm sensation in the wound and making his breath heave from the heat.

He’s hungry, thirsty, just wanting somewhere to rest. Riding and riding over hills and through valleys Elvis finally spots a house placed in the middle of a small plain, with a relieved but nervous sigh, he trots down.

Once halted in front of the fence gate, he dismounts and quickly ties the leading rope to one of the posts, making sure to hide his revolver a little in its holster. His bloody hand pressing firmly over his upper arm, Elvis walks through, up to the front door of the unknown house and knocks three times. Getting no response Elvis Disappointedly walks back and just as he unties the rope, a voice calls out “Hey! Can I help you?” Elvis lifts his head and looks towards the direction of the voice, meeting a pretty lady standing next to a group of beehives, wearing beige coloured pants and a buttoned up collared shirt. He sheepishly smiles “Hello! Yeah, if i ain’t botherin!”

the lady snickers and shakes her head “Not at all!” as she makes her way over, she carries a hat with a wide rim, a mesh material draping over. Loudly sighing, she places the hat on a fence post and rests a hand on her hip “What can I do for you?” again she smiles kindly, her eyes travelling down to his arm seeing his blood covered hand, Elvis breathes out a chuckle “Well uh, if ya don’t mind..uh- could I rest here?” raising his eyebrows in question, he nervously smiles earning a nod “Oh! Of course! And something for that as well…” she states whilst pointing a finger. Elvis looking down with a sheepish smile, the lady picking her hat back up, she turns towards the front door. Elvis ties the rope back and follows her inside. Looking around the place, he sighs contently and looks back at the friendly lady closing the front door. She walks past him, unconsciously putting her hat on a nearby table. Waving a hand, she guides him to the guest room. Letting Elvis in to sit at the edge of the bed “Get yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back” at her words he nods and watches as the lady walks off. Taking off his hat and with one hand he effortlessly unbuckles his gun holster, sighing relieved.

Footsteps getting closer and closer, holding a wooden box the lady returns “Alright! Now let’s take a look..uhm, could you take your shirt off please?” She smiles awkwardly earning a small grin from Elvis, taking a seat next to him, she waits for him to finish removing his torn shirt. The lady uncovers the box and rummages inside “How did you get the wound?” she asks, Elvis rubbing the back of his neck “Ah got in a bit of a tussle with some folks…” the lady nods “Hmm was it from a gun?” With a slow hesitant nod Elvis sighs “Yeah…” with a second nod, the lady picks out a wrapped up piece of fabric, unravelling to reveal a variety of tools. Laying a gentle hand on his arm, she inspects the injury. Noticing something shiny buried in the bloody flesh “I’m gonna take the bullet out so just try your best to not move too much” Elvis raises his eyebrows “Ma’am?” the lady smiles reassuringly at him “I’ll be quick” gulping silently, Elvis holds his breath. With a swift and experienced motion, the lady carefully pokes a pair of tweezers inside the wound, earning a pained groan from Elvis, getting a hold of the bullet, she pulls it out and lays it on an old rag “There” Elvis looks down and sees the bullet covered in blood, blinking blankly “Man, you was quick” the lady snickers “Told you, I would be” grabbing a small jar from the box, she opens the lid and swipes the strange substance onto a linen cloth “What’s that?” Elvis questions, the lady lifts her head “It’s a homemade ointment” giving the man a gentle smile, Elvis smiles back “It smells nice..” with a soft hum “It’s made of mostly honey, from my hives” the lady explains. She lightly pats the linen cloth around the wound, careful to not send a sharp sting. Her eyes trail up to look at Elvis who is looking down at the floor “I never got your name” Elvis turns his head “Elvis..Elvis Presley” he smiles, the lady breathes out a laugh “Y/n L/n” shyly chuckling, Elvis rubs the back of his neck with his free hand and rubs his thigh.

Finishing with the ointment, Y/n begins to wrap a bandage around his upper arm. Adjusting the placement as she goes, her eyes wander up to his blue eyes making her gulp quietly and her heart rate beating a little faster. She didn’t really take much notice of his features until now, feeling a slight squeeze in her heart. Her chest rising and falling in one slow breath, her hands gently holding his arm up with her soft fingers, with a soft squeeze she creates an indent from the pressure. Imagining what it would feel like to be held in his arms, breathing in sharply, she snaps herself out of her thoughts and lowers her eyes to the task in hand.

Elvis’ eyes trail around the room, seeing blankets nicely folded upon an old woven chair and baskets stacked in the corner. Bringing his hand to wipe under his nose, he looks at Y’n’s shoes, wandering up to her hands, noticing the bones move delicately under her skin on the back of her hands, wondering if her hands are soft like they present themselves as. Silently letting out air through his nose as his view travels further up to her chest, watching as it rises and falls in a graceful fashion. Clearing his throat when he realises what he’s doing and looks back down at the floor.

The room falls silent as they unknowingly admire each other’s complexion, their breaths, the distant ticking of the clock and birds whistling outside, the only sounds filling their ears until an unexpected meow enters the room. The both of them turning their heads to find a fluffy ginger cat, glancing at one another. Y/n clears her throat “Oh! Rosie, come here baby” Elvis looks at Y/n, the lady looks at him with a sheepish smile “She’s my cat, Rosemary” Elvis nods quietly and lets out a slight chuckle “Oh..” the cat jumping up onto the bed between them, sitting down with her paws elegantly placed in front and her chest out confidently. Looking up at Elvis with her feline green eyes. Smiling small, Y/n snickers “She’s usually quite curious with guests..” Rosemary lets out another meow, making Elvis smile “And quite vocal ” they both quietly laugh.

The feline taking her eyes away from Elvis, she stands up and walks around behind him, sitting down again next to his cowboy hat and gun holster. Lowering her head to have a sniff of the hat only for her to retract her head back slightly making Elvis chuckle “She’s probably smellin’ Rising sun” Y/n cranes her neck a little to see Rosemary then glances at Elvis “I’m guessing that’s your horse?” he nods, keeping his eyes on the ginger cat.

Straightening her posture, Y/n finishes up with the bandaging and puts everything back in the box. Elvis lifts his head as she stands up with the box in her arms “Thank you Y/n” he grins, Y/n nods her head “You’re welcome Elvis” smiling subtly “You’d probably wanna wash the blood off your hands..” Elvis glances down at his hands and nods.”The tap is outside” the lady states “I’ll start on dinner” she shyly excuses herself out of the room.

Elvis watches as she walks away, sighing again he turns to see Rosemary pushing his hat with her little nose. A small smile playing on his lips.

[fangirlstorycreator]

I hope you are well 🖤💕 I have an ask.

We all know Fenris is jilted towards mages, understandably so, but what if he falls in love with a mage, sort of like in DA2 but this is pre-Kirkwall before he would meet the champion. He's out exploring and stumbles upon a young mage who is being harassed by bandits and he jumps in to save her, only to find she's hurt, and also quite pretty. He struggles with her abilities at first but then soon sees her creating ethereal style butterflies as she sits in their camp, and he finds himself enamored.

Thank you very much for the ask! This is my first ask that's from my new list and I'm very happy to write this for you! I will try my best for you 💚

Being a mage wasn't easy, with most of the people you've come across on your travels, they didn't exactly take to you very well. You were seen as a danger and they kept their distance, apart from the odd few who would confront you, weather it be on the road somewhere or in public. You had been many places all over the land, and you didn't feel very welcome in any place you visited, so you ended up only going into the public eye to get supplies for yourself. You were able to sleep easily on the road, occasionally helping the odd person hear and there for coin, and it was a fairly comfortable life...but that's not to say that it wasn't lonely for you. You had noone travelling with you, and you kind of wanted that, but if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't the end of the world. You had just passed a market stall on the edge of Kirkwall and stoped to get some things to make for your dinner tonight, you grabbed some cured meat, vegetables, fresh fruit and a new water pouch. You walked happily back through the market, that was until this sudden thump was felt in your shoulder before you fell to the floor with an aggressive push.

Someone had knocked you off your feet, and you look up to see this arrogant man covered in scars, and 3 of his men behind him laughing at your fall. "Aww what's the matter little mage? Can't handle bumping into a real man?" You hated this man with this single question, you hated arrogant guys like this. You stood up, brushed yourself down and smiled back at him "No I didn't, but when I do I'll be sure to let you know" This mans friends all go "Ooo!" Behind him, this annoys the man who pushed you. "You need to be careful little girl, you know rudeness is not attractive" "Hears a question then? What makes you think I'm trying to attract you?" He was stumped, he looked at you like a deer caught in the light, he wasn't expecting that response. You smirk and walk past them all, leaving the market behind and onwards to your next place to travel, which seemed like the forest in the distance ahead. You were kind of used to that happening to you, not everyone was a fan of mage's, especially if you were a woman too. But because it was such a normal thing, you were used to it and tended to push it to the back of your mind.

You camped up a little while later and made a small fire with your magic, it saved spending money on stuff for it when you could just wave your hand. You had eaten and were watching the sun go down through the trees, it was a lovely end to the day....or so you thought. By the time it was dark, you were just reading a book by the fire when you hear muffled chatter and laughter, from quiet to louder as it got closer to your camp. When you finaly see who it is, you realise this wasn't good "Hello again little mage!" This was the same man and his friends from the market, they seemed a little drunk, but not enough to be properly impared. You just tried to ignore them and continue reading, but they were now in your camp, and you couldn't ignore them now. "Wanna tuck us in little lady?" "No, go away" "Ah come on, hey, if your lucky...I might let you sleep in the same bed roll as me? I think you'll be quite impressed" "You do know, being a dick isn't going to make yours any bigger?" Again, his friends were amused by how you could defend yourself and anger this man. "Watch your mouth mage! I know I can take you single handed!"

"I really hope one day you choke on all that sh#t you talk" "Oh is that right? Well then, it seems we're all going to have to teach you a lesson. Boys!" This man and his friends all charge at you, which catches you a little off guard, but not enough for you to make a protective barrier just in time to push them back away from you. But what you didn't realise, was that they seemed to have planned this attack on you, and you weren't aware of the man behind you until it was too late. You felt a painful blast behind your back, causing you to fall to the floor in pain, where this hidden man jumps towards you and grabs your arms, pinning them behind your back. "Ahaha! That's what you get you little b#tch!" This man and his friends advance on you, and start kicking you and punching you, rendering you helpless and being made to endure all this pain. You weren't able to say a single magic encantation with them punching you in the face, and your hands were being held behind you so your couldn't conjure anything, you were stuck, and scared. "Mages like you don't belong hear! And we're going to make sure you never retur-nngguuhh!"

This mans voice is suddenly cut off by the sound of him grunting in pain, through your swollen eye, you see that a mans fist has gone through his chest. But there seemed to be magic infused into his hand, and they wore a gauntlet of sharp claw like shapes. When the fist is pulled back out, the man holding you throws you to the ground and you fall forward and collapse onto the ground infront of you. Your in so much pain that the sound of fighting is just a white noise to you, and you lie there trying to make sence of what's going on around you. Your vision is blurry, but you see these men falling like flies to this unknown man. You can't make out what he looks like, but you can make out this strange colour from him...it was white...and it seemed to be, almost vibrant against his skin. It was something you'd never seen before, were you really seeing this? He seemed to have white hair, grey armour, and he had eyes like emeralds. You were fighting consciousness, and as the last man gets slane, your eyes are slowly starting to close. This unknown man walks over and kneels beside you, the last thing you remember is the feel of this mans hand against your cheek, before everything went black.

You awake some time later, with bandages on your wrists, one of your shoulders and you can feel healing remedies and oils on your face and skin. You seemed to be safe, but who was it that saved you? You slowly sit up, with your body aching and creaking as you do, this makes the man sitting by the fire notice you, and he moves to sit infront of you. "Woh woh, take it easy there. You've had a few nasty injuries" "You?...your the man who saved me?" For some strange reason he looked a little taken back by that comment, but then he said "Yes, my name is Fenris. I heard a commotion on my way through this forest. And when I investigated, that's when I happend upon you. And those awful men who were attacking you" "What did you do to them?" "They are dead, they will no longer bother you or any other mage anymore" "Well, thank you very much for saving me Fenris, my name is Y/N" "Its a pleasure to meet you" "Just one thing, how did you know I was a mage?" "Well, it was only because I over heard those men saying that you were, I don't normally spend time in the presence of mages, but you were in danger. So I made an exception"

"Thank you for that again by the way. May I ask why you don't like mages?" "Well it's because of a mage who I have had bad experiences with, he uses dark and bad magic. Hence why I don't particularly trust mages. But...I noticed when you were being attacked, you didn't use any dark magic, only a protective barrier" "I don't like the thought of dark magic, I only want to protect myself and others around me.....which I guess I couldn't do this evening" "You were over powered by many men, don't put yourself down about that" "That's kind, thank you" he made sure the bandages were secure and that you weren't in a great deal of pain, after what felt like a few hours of general chit chat, you decided to ask him a question. "Fenris?" "Yes Y/N?" "I wanted to ask you....what are those markings are on your arms and neck? I can sence magic in them, am I right?" "Yes, you are right. I imagine I must look strange to you, I did not receive these markings by choice, even so, they have served me well. Without them, I'd still be a slave" "I'm sorry? A slave?"

"Yes, I'm afraid that my story isn't a nice one, infact my story is part of why I happend upon you this evening. You see, I was a slave to a magister by the name of Danarius, he was my master and I did not want to be his property. That is why I am hear, I have escaped his clutches and I am now being hunted by bounty hunters" "But if he's getting people to hunt you down, what does he want from you?" "Not me, more the markings on my skin. It is Lyrium, burned into my flesh to provide Danarius what was acquired of his pet" "So that's why I met you tonight? Your on the run?" "Not quite, I was on the run. But I have realised that I don't want to run anymore, I don't want to live my life in fear. So I'm looking for my former master Danarius, and I intend to kill him for everything he has put me through" "I take it because he is a magister, he's a difficult man to find?" "That's correct, he is a magister of the tevinter imperium. They hold all the power over the chantry and the imperial court, and he is also a very slippery man who is able to evade many moments where I was very close to confronting him"

"It sounds like you need help finding him?" "That's right, the only thing is, whose going to help an escaped slave looking to kill their former master?" "I don't know? Maybe a mage who you saved? And is now in your debt with the knowhow and abilities to help track someone down" "Y/N, I don't know. This is a dangerous thing to ask of anyone, and being around a mage is difficult enough as it is" "Don't you like that I'm a mage?" "You seem like a lovely woman, but after my history with Danarius, I'm very cautious. You can understand that right?" "Of course I do, you have a very good reason not to trust mages. But you were kind enough to help me, and I would like to return the favour. I have many abilities as well as magic, and if I can, maybe I can show you that not all mages are the same. From the sounds of Danarius, I don't want to be anything like him. Anyone who keeps slaves and burdens them with a body burned with Lyrium, is someone with a cold soul, which I'm nothing like" Fenris looks conflicted, but he also knows he can't take on Danarius alone. "Look, if you do want to help me with my former master, then I am happy for the help. But it will just take me time to trust you, and if your magic is harmful in anyway, I will no longer want you around. Is that understood?" "Understood Fenris" "Alright, then we have a deal"

You and Fenris camped there that night after striking a deal, he was kind enough to save you, it's only fair you offer to help him in his moment of need. You and him traveled through towns and villages hunting down any information on Danarius, all while you were slowly healing from your injuries. Fenris was kind enough to offer his support and help you when you were either in pain or if you struggled with something you were unable to do at the time. After the first week of travelling with him, a friendly bond was made between you both and there was mutual respect on either side. After a few more weeks, the only thing you and Fenris were able to accomplish was slaying more of the bounty hunters and find out what Danarius's next possible moves could be. You and Fenris now got on much better, but you hid from him that you found him quite attractive. He was strong, brave, resilient and clever, and whenever he looked into your eyes, you felt so comfortable and warm. You had heard of women feeling this butterfly sensation when they see a man they have feelings for, but you didn't feel that with Fenris. You just felt calm, you wondered why? You knew more about eachother now, and you knew Fenris was scared at the thought of magic being used, hence why you didn't use any around him.

And if you did, it was very small. One evening, you and Fenris had found a place to pitch up a tent in a woodland area beside a river, Fenris was pitching up his own tent when you had finished and decided to sit on the edge of the soft and slow flowing river. It was a short distance away from the tents, but still far enough that you wouldn't be able to hear him unless he was shouting at you. It had been so long since you had done magic, and it was always so easy for you to do. Hence why when you were by the water, the colours in the water from the moon light and the fire, made you feel magic in your finger tips, and you so easily made an ethereal bunch of butterflies. They were a beautiful dusty blue colour from the water and the moonlight, and a lovely milky yellow underneath their wings, that contrasts wonderfully with the blue. You made about 6 or 7 of these lovely little butterflies, and they just flutter around you and over the water as you smile.

Little did you know, that Fenris was watching you from his tent, but not with fear, but like he was entranced. Ever since he's known you, he has been very honest about his thoughts on magic and mages, and he was very pleased that you didn't do magic around him. But as he got to know you, he had this gut feeling that you were indeed, nothing like Danarius, just like you said. He also grew to like you more from spending more time with you, and when you did use the odd but of magic hear and there, he was pleased you made sure it was only small and nothing damaging or threatening. But right now, he was witnessing you use your magic, and he quite simply couldn't look away. Not just because he was impressed with your skill in creating these beautiful butterflies, but it was your smile that was catching his eye too. He loved your smile, he loved watching you in your element and how happy you were by simply making something so sweet. He had been denying his feelings for you for a long time, and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep them in for much longer, not with him falling even more in love with you everytime he saw you smile.

He walked over to you and sat beside you at the river, which made you very confused. "Fenris?" "Yes? You sound suprised that I've seated myself beside you. Have I done something to upset you in any way?" "No, not at all. I'm just confused" "About what?" "What do you think?" You ask while pointing to the floating butterflies. "Ah, I can understand your thoughts. But I have to admit, that I'm actualy quite impressed by your magic" "You are?" "Indeed. When we first met, you told me you wanted to show me that not all mages are the same, and that you were nothing like Danarius, and in our time together, you have proven just that" "I have always been honest with you Fenris, I wouldn't ever want to hurt you or any other innocent person with magic" "And I know that now, I see that. I see it every day, and I see your kindness and honesty in your smile too.....your smile....the moon, stars and camp fire could all be hidden from view, and your smile will still be the brightest view" "Fenris...that's beautiful" "I'm just trying to show you my honesty. Y/N, I know that I am still a man on the run, but with your help I've managed to get closer to Danarius more than I ever have before and I'm very thankful for that. But during our time, I have found that I have grown a certain....feeling towards you. A feeling I'm hoping is reciprocated, if it isn't I will understand, but I needed to be honest with you if we were going to continue hunting Danarius"

"Fenris? Is this your way of saying you have romantic feelings for me?" "That's what I'm trying to do yes. I do apologise, I haven't been in this situation before and I'm not quite sure how to tell you my true feelings" "Well I can put your mind at ease Fenris, because I feel the same way" "You do?" "Of course I do" "Oh I, that's wonderful" You giggle and blow a butterfly towards his face, making the end of his nose tickle. "I thank you for this" "You do realise you don't have to thank me for liking you back Fenris?" "Yes, I know. But this is just a wonderful thing to happen to me, and I felt the need to say it. But I'm happy, very happy. If there is a future to be had, I will walk into it gladly at your side" "I couldn't quite hear that, could you speak up?" You ask cheekily. "Why don't I make it clearer for you?" He says right before he leans in with a desperate need, and he kisses you with a fiary passion. Holding the back of your head with his hand, and his lips were locking so perfectly with yours, like he craved your touch. Your eyes were closed, but you could sence that his markings were glowing as he kissed you, almost like his body was vibrating with excitement. When he pulled away after you both needed some air, he looked at you with his deeply green emerald eyes, and you were hypnotised. "Was that sufficient for you?" He asks with a little smile. "Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe you should kiss me again, just to make sure" "I think it's safe to say I will never tire from this"

[anarchicvampire]

III. Harboring a Fugitive

We start walking towards my flat. The cops seem to have left. When we get there, I give him a glass of water. Then I look for a clean towel and a change of clothes and give it to him.

"Thanks," he says. 

"You're welcome. You can use the shampoo and body wash that are in the shower, if you need them." 

"All right, thanks." He smiles at me, blindingly. I sigh once he's shut the door. I'm really deep in shit, aren't I?

When he gets out of the shower, his hair is wet; his (my) clothes are clinging to his damp body; and his shirt is riding up (it's too small on him), revealing a pale sliver of bare skin. If I ran my fingers across it, it would probably be soft and delicate. I avert my gaze, my cheeks warm. 

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Yeah, I could use some food."

"What do you want? Some eggs?"

"Whatever is most convenient," he says sweetly. Oh, what a cutie.

I make him some eggs with bacon. He eats it hurriedly. "Do you want some yogurt?"

"Yes, please." What an educated man. "So what should I call you?" He asks as I walk towards the fridge.

"Tiago." I don't think giving him my real name is a good idea for now. "You?" I reply as I grab some yogurt and blueberries to put on top.

"You can call me Giovanni."

"Hm. Italian, huh?"

"Yeah. What about you?"

"I'm latino," I respond. 

I've got the day off because I'm a waiter at a sushi restaurant, and on Mondays it closes. I tell him, "I'm going to keep reading this book I've started," as I sit down on the couch. 

He says, "Ok, I'll work on my laptop, if you don't mind."

After a few hours of this, it's time to cook lunch. I make some for both of us. After eating, I work on a painting I want to finish. A couple hours later, the sun has come down.

Giovanni stands up, "Well, it's dark now. It should be safer, I'll head out. Thanks for your help."

"Will you go back to your car?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it, I can take care of myself."

"Don't you have anyone you can stay with?"

"It's too risky... I haven't talked to anyone for months, in preparation for this, so that they couldn't see what I would do. Now, if I go back... they'll know for sure it was me," he explains as he picks his stuff up.

"Don't you think you'll get caught?"

"I never thought I'd make it this far, anyway. I was ready to lose it all. I'm ready for whatever the future holds for me."

"But you haven't lost it all yet. Don't you value your freedom?"

He shrugs, "A statement has value as well."

"You can send a statement by remaining at large. Getting away with murdering CEO's, that's a powerful message to send to citizens. You can be the spark of a revolution. It's bigger than you now." 

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you can crash at my place, tonight. At least until you've got somewhere to go."

"You're sure? You're going to house a wanted criminal you've just met?"

I think for a beat. "I'll take my chance." His eyes glint.

"You've got a big heart, Tiago." Hm, though it isn't my real name, it sounds good when he says it. 

"All right, I'll make dinner."

"Nah, uh. After you cooking lunch? Dinner's on me." I'm impressed.

"All right, Italian boy. Show me what you got."

Turns out, his cooking is delicious. He's made veggie lasagna, which I devour in minutes, before going for seconds. This man can cook. I am a lost cause.

When it's time for bed, I tell him, "You can stay on the couch, it's a pull out." I wince at my choice of words. "I'll bring you some bedclothes and a pillow."

"Thanks."

When I get back and give them to him, he says "Thank you. I mean it. Not just by helping me hide. Thanks for encouraging me. I haven't been in the best headspace recently."

"Don't worry about it. Thank you for your service," I wink at him.

"Good night."

"Thanks. Good night," he smiles sweetly. 

The next day, my alarm goes off and wakes me up from a curious dream in which I'm having sex with a man. It's weird, because I'm usually into women. But I'm unbothered, since I've always known I liked men, too. I think about the most probable reason why I dreamt that... I shake my head. He's a fugitive and a murderer, not the most convenient person to fall in love with. Sure, he may have had his reasons, which is why I'm helping him, but going farther than that would be self-sabotage. 

After showering and changing, I head to the kitchen. He's still asleep. Lucky him, I think. I start making breakfast, baleadas, and he wakes up. While we eat, he says, "I'd never tried this before, it's so good."

"I know right? I lit get hard every time I eat baleadas." 

I worry my joke went too far, but then he says, "The fact you can cook this well is what has me hard." We both laugh. 

"Latin Americans and Italians united over great food," I extend my hand to him. He takes it (his skin is soft) and my brain short-circuits.

As I'm about to leave for work, I tell him, "There's food in the fridge. You can cook and eat lunch. I'll be back at around five pm."

I'm a bit worried about leaving a stranger alone at my house, but I have a security camera, so I can check in every now and then, as long as I'm subtle. I get to the restaurant at which I'm a waiter. They don't know I'm hiding America's most wanted, I think while I'm mopping the floor. I then remember a meme of his I'd seen over the weekend saying, "America's most wanted (carnally)," and laugh to myself. He is pretty handsome.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary571

4/25/25

friday

my sleep seems like it might become normal soon...

well, it basically was today. i went to bed at 5 or so yesterday but i slept about 11 hours! that's very good, waking up at 4 am isn't the best but it pushes the needle towards me waking up when the sun is out, and i think today i will. i'm sleepy now, i was just working on music.

i did a good bit of music stuff today, i worked on more of a song and got it right-er, but then i also made a new thing, and then another new thing actually. did too much extra stuff but one of them feels like a new idea for an ep. so i can do some stuff re: that, i might have an ep between albums which feels good, as a kind of thing i can put energy towards, there's a song i've been sitting on thinking about releasing and it will probably fit in there. the other song i did today was just like catchy synth stuff.

maybe catchy is a bit much for something that has this weird a synth in it, it's not really that weird i guess, it's just very distorted, and distorted in a weird way, it was so loud it needed a limiter at a point in the gainstaging because it was like +50db or something i swear. ableton has safety limiting in a really minute way i think because that stuff never hurts but you're always like, in a position where you need to fix it. so it's got that limiting, it's also like, super transient shaped, to a point where there's this glimmering things in the synth that were poking out, i was trying to make them peak more, and it made a really weird thing happen. idk i think the distortion smears a lot of that but because it's smeared it helps make it seem more like it's somewhere, and not just a digital instrument. it's a good sound. i also like what i got out of the drums, just more fooling with transient shapers, they're so useful... i like how the snare sounds completely different with the kick under it, and how it has space carved out for the kick in its movement almost.

i have no clue what i'll do with the stuff i make that's like this. i'd like to do vocals on it but it's not a priority. i feel like people would like it but that makes me allergic almost. i dunno. i'd rather alienate people. i'm talking like i'm seriously at risk of having people care about my music or anything i do, i am definitely not.

this one i'm posting, i feel like when the interface gets here, i could try recording guitar with it, that'd be funny. i have no clue what chords i'd do but i think i would want to do something chord-y.

there was this thing i was meaning to read today... i'll try to tomorrow. i feel like i'd like to have more energy to think about it at length, is all. it's about the political character of queerness. i'm curious if i'll resonate with it or find it frustrating. it seem frustrated by judith butler, which i get and also am wary of. but maybe that's silly of me, to be wary of that. idk. sometimes i feel very little ability to articulate what i experience inside myself, why i am anything, i mean i talk about this frequently, it's just that sometimes seeing people argue over the grounds of theorizing it, or even what theorizing it should mean, sometimes makes me feel alien/foreign to the whole process, in general i always find it more liberating and exciting when people call for the whole apparatus to be dissolved or treated as violently as possible, accrue contradictions, be nothing, etc. the bit i did read raises a critique of butler that i think is worth it, it seems like it will be right, i suppose it's just the whole presence of the discourse and not particular discourses i'm responding to/sensing with my feelings or whatever. sometimes other people just exist too much in my head. it's an embarrassing thing to admit, whenever i have to say that. i don't think it's just that, that makes me think about all this, unfortunately it's a part of it though.

i had a strange dream. i can't remember a lot of it but when i woke up for some reason i was certain i would. it's strange how dreams dissolve. a head with the sun behind it in a doorway, a roadtrip, a low angle shot of a car, sky and pine trees, somewhere in the northwest, verdant forest and a suburb congealed, in and out of both the way worms come into and out of the earth, a perforated city, we were locked in a jewelry store overnight, police came, tried to arrest us for being thieves, we were not thieves, there were four of us and we drove. it was a pawn shop actually, and a bar, and there were films. exposed brick, on a hill, the sunrise of the city, answering a door in a house. the head of my girlfriend's stepfather. looming death as usual.

it's about 10:30 now which feels like a good time to sleep,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #208

Today was another very busy day.

Once again, I ended up going to bed a lot later than I should have, last night. And once again, I was woken prematurely - this time, by Br's alarm. It is very loud, and it sounds like this; make sure the volume is relatively low before you play this one:

...That's all right though. Br needs a strong alarm in order to wake up. Some folks are like that.

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you need a very strong alarm to wake up in the morning? Or does a soft one do? I tend to wake up very quickly in response to any unusual sound. And I guess unlike lots of people, the transition between awake and asleep is very abrupt for me, unless it is late and I am fighting sleep. But in the morning? I usually end up waking just before whatever I set my alarm to, and once I'm up, that's all there is to it; it's like flipping a light switch. What's it like for you? And how long has it been since last you slept someplace comfortable, anyway?

Initially, I thought I was gonna go back to sleep, but I decided instead to drive Br home. J sat in the back seat. It was a nice drive to her house. And it was a nice drive on the way home. I snapped a lot of pictures for you; the morning sun sparkling through the trees was absolutely delightful, and... I remembered the way you marvel at nature, so I thought you might like to see. Oh, and, don't worry; Br's road almost never gets any visitors except for us, so it was perfectly safe to stop and marvel:

J also took a few pictures for you:

...He also got a few pictures of me taking pictures, for some reason, hahaha...

...Then he took a few other ones, too, for some reason, hahaha...

...I make such weird faces, hahahahaha! 🤣😅

Near Br's house is a place that J had been wanting to explore for a while now. I don't really see the appeal of industrial settings, but J gets curious about them sometimes. And we had time before I had to go to my friend BB's house. So J took some pictures there, too; I was too busy driving:

...Some of the graffiti one sees on trains is really very amazing. I have no idea how someone can render something so realistic as this with a medium as unforgiving of mistakes as spray paint, but this person managed, and did an incredible job of it. I hope they're working as an artist somewhere...

After all this, J and I were hungry. So J found a spot that was named after his departed brother, and so we decided to go there. But it was a cash-only place, and we only had $18 on hand. We ended up splitting a plate of french toast with sausage and an egg, and it was wonderful! We left the remaining 3-ish dollars behind as a tip, for a little over 20%.

We still had plenty of time before I had to go to BB's house. So J and I went home, and M and J watched some new 3D animated Star Trek show together while I kinda-sorta napped. I feel lucky that J and M will let me nap next to them.

I imagine that if I was zonked out and ended up falling asleep in your general vicinity, I'd probably be safe with you, too. I wonder if you'd sit with me for a bit and enjoy the calmness of the surrounding things.

Anyway, after that I went to BB's house. Some heavy things happened in her life recently (they are for the better, but still heavy), and we talked about it for a while as she did raids in FF16. Once she was all done with that, she showed me the nest that some birds made on her house. These might be a bit hard to see since I had to zoom all the way in, and my cellphone camera isn't the fanciest, but there are babies in the nest:

When we went out to go eat, I took a few more pictures of the birds out the window, too:

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you like birds? If you do, do you have a favorite one? I tend to like crows and ravens and pigeons; no one seems to like these ones, for reasons I don't fully understand. Most people in my world think that ravens and crows are bad luck. And most people in my world think that pigeons are filthy. It's so strange; ravens and crows are highly intelligent and delightful birds. And pigeons used to be companions to humans before they were abandoned to the wilds and shunned. I feel really sad about both of these things, so maybe that's why I love these ones a little extra; it surely seems like they should have a little extra appreciation.

When we got back, we watched videos of this guy called Kitboga, who has made a career of scamming scammers. I wonder if you might find this one funny; you worked in a corporate environment for a while, so I imagine you understand what setting a password is like:

...How nice it would be to hear you laugh in response to something silly instead of something sad. How nice it would be... I hope I get to hear it someday.

I had a wonderful time with BB, and now I am home. Have been for a while. And it is going on 1AM. So I guess I'll stop writing and get to bed; I surely need the sleep.

Hey, Sephiroth? Please stay safe out there, won't you? And please try to take good care of yourself and the people around you. Also, please try to find the magic in little things, like sunlight sparkling through the trees, and in silly things, and in art, and in the flight of birds.

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[jhilsara]

Please keep posting more!! I'm loving it so far <3

Can I ask why Erik doesn't use Princess as MCs petname anymore?

Hello! I'm back with another part! 4?

But I don't have Erik use Princess strictly just because I personally don't like it and it kinda nauseates me to write it. I'm not gonna yuck your yum, but it just isn't for me, I can do any other pet name but Princess just gives me the ick for some reason.

~Beach Episode~

It’s finally summer and summer means vacation.

Two weeks into June and MC is itching to do something. LIZARD TIME

She’s been lounging in the sun in the backyard reading and Erik is tanning next to her.

Matthews in the grass holding a portable fan on his face and Damien’s sitting in a chair with a big sunhat listening to the audiobook of the same book as MC for their little summer book club

James was inside making a light lunch and Sam was just coming home from working out.

“Oh, I see we’re all outside today and no one invited me?” Sam “You were working out. MC mentioned sun bathing and that was all I needed.” Erik “Except its hot as balls out here!” Matthew whines. “I wish we had a pool!” “The beach could be nice.” Damien “Oh my god I haven’t been to the beach in ages!” MC jolts up in excitement. Sam laughs and ruffles her hair. “Calm down no one said we’re going.” MC pouts. “Who said we’re going somewhere?” James “Damien suggested we go to the beach.” Erik “…why not? We could go next week.” James “Seriously?” Sam James shrugs, “I don’t really want to sit in a week-long meeting with her dad glaring holes into my head. Pushing back the meeting will also just piss him off so this is a win for me.” “So…. The beach?” MC “Why not? I’ll get the flight scheduled for us. We can leave Sunday.” James “Finally, a vacation!” Erik

They get on a short flight to end up in Savannah GA and Tybee Island.

They get a connecting room with 4 beds in total. MC sleeps in her own and Sam too…mostly cause he’s a bed hog and will kill anyone but Damien.

It takes the group very little time to throw their things down in the hotel before running to the beach.

James goes to spend his first day looking for sharks teeth.

Erik is sunbathing and listening to his own music.

Matthew and Sam are swimming together and probably trying to drown each other.

Damien is sitting next to Erik listening to an audio book and drawing in the sand.

MC starts by sunbathing with Erik and Damien

She’s laying on her stomach, sunglasses on, and stretching over her towel. “It’s so nice out today!” MC “Perfect weather for a vacation. I’m already looking at restaurants with patios for this evening.” “Damien can you hand me a seltzer?” The cooler hidden under the umbrella is filled with alcohol. Damien grabs one to hand to her. “Make sure you eat with those. The sun’s hot today you’ll get dehydrated.” Damien mentions. “I’ll be fine I brought sandwiches in there too!” MC

After baking in the sun and 3 seltzers and 2 mini sandwiches she’s dozing off on her towel.

Until water starts dripping on her face.

She looks up and sees Sam hovering over her, dripping the ocean all over her.

He’s smiling at her and shakes his soaking wet hair like a dog, all of it landing on her. “Ew! Sam gross! I was almost asleep!” She sits up and swats at his legs. He just laughs and sits next her, making her scoot over on her towel to make room. “Did you not bring your own towel out here?” MC He’s pressing his wet body against her and reaching past her to grab a seltzer and a sandwich. Her face is tomato red. “Yea but you’re already here and sharing is caring or whatever.” Sam “Well you’ve now soaked my towel.” She says irritated trying to hide her blush. Sam inhales his sandwich, “Perfect, so you can get in the water now.” He gives her a toothy grin. She rolls her eyes playfully but agrees. “Only if you help me reapply sunscreen to my back I can’t reach.” She reaches back to grab her bottle and Sam’s face blushes. “Uh yeah. Totally. Can do that, yup.” Sam She reapplies her sunscreen and waits for Sam to finish his drink. She sits still and waits for Sam’s hands on her back. Sam gently massages the sunscreen on her back and actively is avoiding the intense stare he is getting from Erik. Erik and Damien are just like… mmhmm definitely no sexual tension with these two idiots

Matthew, Sam, and MC are in the ocean and actively attacking each other with salt water.

Matthew’s trying to jump Sam to throw him in the water, but Sam just tosses his over.

Sam captures MC by the waist and pulls her further into the water with him.

“Sam! I don’t wanna go that deep!” She tries to wiggle out but he keeps her locked in. “It’s fine I won’t let you go promise! Just want some distance from Matthew he won’t swim this far out.” Sam “Fine but let me at least hold on to your neck, I feel unstable.” MC Sam easily adjusts her, she’s facing him now, arms locked firmly around his neck and he’s holding onto her waist with one and under the crook of her knee in another. “Is this, uh better.” The playful nature has left and they both are flushing. “Yeah… uh” she swallows hard, “This is better.” They have stopped moving out deeper and Sam keeps them afloat as they drift with the waves. “You guys are too far out and Erik’s stressing out! Get back over here!” Matthew is yelling at them but also getting hit by the wake. Sam groans and throws his head back in irritation, “We’re coming!” he shouts back. “Jesus, can’t get a second of peace around here…” he mutters. She’s chuckling and shoves her face in his neck. “Not really no.”  Back on the beach Erik lectures her and Sam but they’re barely listening. They are laid out on their towels catching their breath. James finally comes back to the group with a container containing a few sharks teeth. He looks like he’s happy so probably a success. “Back to the hotel to clean up then dinner?” James suggests to them. “Yes please!”

Between 6 people and 2 bathrooms they all take turns to get ready. But it is a race to see who gets to shower first.

The restaurant they pick is chill, fresh seafood, and an amazing patio. She is sitting in the sun and her sundress gently floats in the wind.

Everyone talks about their great day and what the plans are for tomorrow. 

They’re only staying for 3 days but they are ready to fill it with activities.

Mc, Erik, and Damien plan to go to some of the strip outlets and shop most of the morning/early afternoon the next day.

Then her afternoon MC is making everyone play a family game of cheesy beach mini golf.

To say they were competitive was an understatement. They were FOUL

James is actively keeping score, but also actively trying to knock others balls away from the hole. Erik is the only one playing fair and just trying to get this over with. Sam will hit the ball way too hard and has broken two different objects on the holes. He also is constantly accusing James or Matthew of cheating. Matthew is either trying to ruin Sam’s game or he’s just obnoxiously good at getting a hole in one. Damien is also way too invested and definitely ruining everyone’s game by blurting out whatever strategy they think of.

MC is just trying to win by pinning them against each other, but also actively going before Sam and bending over just enough to peak her ass out of her skirt. Damien at least doesn’t blurt out her plan there. But every time he is actively giving her a look of disappointment.

She feels a least a little shame when he does make eye contact with her.

The last day on the beach they all go back to the ocean to basically rinse and repeat their events of the day prior.

MC does start her day planning on getting day drunk though.

By mid afternoon Sam comes back from the water and he does sit on his own towel this time. He sits next her and leans back on his hands soaking up the sun.

MC is 5 drinks in and feeling t i p s y

It’s only her and Sam by the group’s belongings. Matthew and Erik and trying to teach Damien how to swim and James is halfway across the beach hunting for sharks’ teeth.

She readjusts after Sam sits down. She flips over onto her stomach and uses her arms as a pillow and lays on Sam’s legs.

“Comfortable?” Sam jokes MC just mumbles in agreement getting herself comfortable. “Hey doofus, I’m talking to you.” Sam She smacks his leg lightly. “I hear you. I’m just resting my eyes.” Sam pushes her hair out of her face and looks at their trash bag seeing the cans. He laughs and looks down at her, “Are you drunk?” he asks her. “Nooooo, I’m just a little tipsy Sam. I’m fine, I just need a nap.” She keeps her eyes closed as she snuggles closer to him. Sam raises a brow and pats her head. He looks up and sees Erik coming back to them. “Yea well you’re gonna take a nap inside.” Sam “But you’re so comfortable!” She whines. “Yea but you’ll be comfier inside, on a bed.” Sam chuckles standing up and easily helps MC up to carry her back to the hotel. He puts her on his back and she easily wraps her arms around his neck. He hoists her up and hooks his arms under her legs “Only if you nap with me like last time.” She mumbles. Sam rolls his eyes, “I’ll shower first and if you’re still awake I’ll lay with you alright?” “No. You’re just gonna trick me into passing out in the bed without you.” She pouts. “Caught me red handed.” Sam smirks “Please Aomaris.” She whispers into his back. A chill runs down his back and his grip tightens a little. “Yea.” He swallows hard his mouth dry, “I’ll lay with you for a bit.” “Yay!” She nestles more into his neck making his heart race. “Yea, yea, you win.” He mumbles red in the face. Sam drops her onto the bed and she bounces softly and giggles to herself. He rolls his eyes but is smiling at her joy. He turns and sees her smiling broadly up at him. It’s like the sun with how bright she is. She makes grippy hands at him. He laughs, “What are you, 5?”  She pouts but continues, “Just get in the bed already I’m tired.” He listens and nudges her over as he gets in.  “You’re so pushy!” She doesn’t respond and just throws her arms over him, wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer to her. Se rests her head in the crook if his neck. Sam goes rigid and doesn’t move at all. They’re still in their swimsuits and her breasts are wrapped in a bikini pushing against his chest. She peeps one eye open to look at him, his brain clearly trying to catch up. She sighs. “Sam you can hold me you know?” He chokes for a second before responding, “Uh yeah, just uh, didn’t want you to think I was being handsy cause you’re drunk.” She moves herself back to look him in the eye, “I’m not drunk, and any buzz I had you just ruined. Sam, I’m asking you to lay in the bed with me and hold me. Okay?” Sam almost chokes on his own spit. He’s blushing. “Yea, uh yea. Got it.” He hesitantly wraps his arms around her waist. She settles back down and gets comfortable. Her eyes shoot open before she can actually try to nap, her heart beating a mile a minute. “Unless you don’t want to and I’m totally forcing you to do this, oh my god.” She lets go of him and uses her hands to cover her face from embarrassment hiding in his chest. He starts laughing loudly. Sam grabs her and rolls them over so he’s flat on his back and she’s laying directly on top of him. He grabs her hands and moves them down from her face. He’s smiling at her and still laughing, “MC, I’m good. I want to hold you, I’m nervous I wasn’t expecting you to just throw yourself at me.” Her face goes tomato red. He’s still holding her hands so she can’t move them to hide her face in embarrassment. “I did not throw myself at you!” Her voice pitches in response. “I’m teasing you, calm down.” He’s laughing still. “Saaaaaaaaam!” she groans in irritation. “Calm down doofus,” he pulls her hands up to his lips and kisses them. “let’s just take a nap now alright?” Her face is still burning hot but he lets go of her hands and flips them onto their sides and throws the blanket over them. He grabs her waist and pulls her into him. She sighs and readjusts wrapping her arms around his waist and settling herself under his head. “You’re such a dick.” She mumbles into his chest. She feels him chuckle and tighten his grip and kisses the top of her head. “You like it.”

They sleep until everyone else comes back in from the beach and its Matthew that wakes them up. Well more like his very noisy presence wakes them.

When he comes in he throws his stuff down and starts talking loudly, he doesn’t even notice the two sharing a bed, or that they’re very asleep.

When he does notice he gets l o u d e r. Making all of the brother notice.

Sam throws a pillow hitting him square in the head.

They end their vacation having a nice dinner at one of the nicest restaurants.

Sam and MC sit across from each other almost in their own world the whole night.

They go home the next morning and things between MC and Sam and definitely different.

That was the beach mini episode that I added in. Diana comes in the next part but I also reworked a lot of that and slide into the second game pretty quickly. There's more notes so just let me know! This does make me wanna sit down and actually write more. I need to finish parts of the notes/draft though... I'm not positive what I'm doing with the second game completely yet.

[nancypullen]

SPRING!

Spring has sprung and I've got an itchy trowel hand. I'm dying to get stated in the gardens. Raise your hand if you think I need at least one raised bed for herbs.

I chose those baseball players because it's also baseball season! Opening day is March 28th. Hit 'em where they ain't boys! Name that movie. Here's a hint.

If I sound chipper today, it's because I am. I HAVE A DAY OFF! Hallelujah! This job has become all-consuming and honestly, not fun. With spring in the air I'm longing for home and time spent playing in the dirt. The flower beds in the front of the house wave me off every morning and greet me every night - and I miss them!

Those gorgeous irises ae from Stoner Creek Elementary where I spent many years working. When a tornado wiped out the school some of my sweet teacher friends dug up and divided irises from the grounds. My dear pal, Dina, gifted me with several and they're thriving. The tulip bulbs were sent by my sister-in-law last December. I put them in the ground and, lo and behold, all 40 bloomed! Isn't it special when you can look at parts of your gardens and feel a rush of love for the people who made it possible? Double the pleasure. Our high today is just 47 and there's a chilly wind blowing, but the sun is bight and skies are blue. No complaints from me. I spent a little time cleaning up winter debris from the flower beds and making plans for what I'll grow this year. Every fall I swear I'm not planting sunflowers again, and every spring I come across seeds that I saved and I'm pulled right back in. Of course I'll plant them. They did really well on the east side of the house last summer, so that's where they'll go again. I surrounded them with zinnias for extra color (is there anything easier to grow than zinnias?) and the grandgirl liked making bouquets with them. I'll do that again. My Zepherine rose bush arrived last week and went into the ground, crossing my fingers that she'll really show off. Of course, this is her first year so I shouldn't expect too much. I shouldn't, but I will. I need to do a lot of things with my time off, but I have a feeling most of it will involve dirt. I'm okay with that. I just want to wear old t-shirts, make things grow, and feed the birds and squirrels. I've become an old swamp witch. There are worse ways to spend my time, right? I've got a roast in the crockpot, I'll roast some broccoli and mash some taters for dinner. We eat a lot of salmon and salads, generally avoiding red meat, but I thought the mister deserved a big hunk of cow meat tonight. He has been absolutely wonderful about keeping things tidy and making dinners. I know, I know women do invisible work for decades and no one ever applauds or thanks them. We're criticized when we don't do it all, but never thanked. Still, I appreciate that he's not leaving everything for me to do, so I will shower him with beef. I know it's been forever since I posted, and I really hate it. HATE it. I ask myself at the end of every nine hour day at the library why I'm doing this. I just wanted to volunteer somewhere and meet some nice people.

I know that most folks don't see what happens behind the scenes in a library, it seems like quiet people just sit at desks and check books in and out. There's constant work to be done, lots of big plastic tubs of books coming and going that have to be processed, inter-library loans,etc. I also spend time at the information desk which is always wild. Some of the questions that people call with would blow your mind. I enjoy working in the children's room, that's always fun. I really love when I can put the right book into a kid's hands and they come back and ask for more like it. Shelving never ends...ever. I'm already working on April's displays , two in the main library and one in the children's room. I just really wish that the days weren't so long. This week is a short week for me and I am delighted. Next week will be long. If they'd just have me come in from 9 to 1 daily, I could knock out all of my work plus others' tasks and still have a life. I work every hour that I'm there, others do not. If I have down time I will float around and pick up the slack in other areas. If everything is caught up, I'll clean. I never thought I'd be that senior citizen that complained about "young people today", but my gosh there's a whole lot of dead weight on staff. Seems like everyone has a special reason why they can't complete a task or show up for work. Ugh. They're all making more than me and getting health insurance, why am I the only one worried about the work getting done? I'm the part-time granny! Okay, I'm not going to end this happy blog post with whining about work. It has been good for me to get out and meet people, I'll stick with the positives. I skipped lunch today because I was working in the yard and now I'm feeling snacky. Since we're having a big dinner I guess I'll just have some cucumbers or a cup of yogurt. That'll keep me from wasting away to normal. Might even sit down and watch some murder tv. I've really been missing my shows! I have to catch up on all of the heinous things people do to one another. I wouldn't be surprised if someone calls the library asking how to dispose of a body, I'll just consider this research. I'm off for a couple of days so I'll blog again tomorrow. Hooray!! I miss the old days of steady blogging. Until then... Stay safe, stay well, HAPPY SPRING! XOXO, Nancy

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Watch It Or Drop It - A 2024 Drama Challenge

As always, the impending chime of a brand New Year just around the corner is stirring up the age old urge to Sort My Life Out somewhere deep inside me and rekindled the burning flame of No I Really Mean It This Time once more.

So far this has meant deep cleaning my house with a fervour rarely seen outside of the pages of the most fanatic of Cleaning Tiktokers (something which will definitely have faded even before the clock strikes 12), setting up a planning and organisational system so that my life can go smoothly for once (that will probably last until summer after which point I'll be so sun addled I'll stop caring about to-do lists altogether), and forcing myself to confront my mountain of unread books (by placing them accusingly next to my bed so I can wake up and fall asleep to them until the growing sense of guilt forces me to hide them in a cupboard).

No a bad start if I may say so myself. It's not even 2024 yet and things are already looking Sorted.

Joking aside though, while there are, as there usually are, big (potentially life changing) goals that I want to work towards this year and which will take a fair bit of work and/or courage on my part to make happen, there are also smaller ones. Manageable ones. Silly ones. Ones that'll make the whole year just a little bit more fun. For example: clearing my MyDramalist Want-To-Watch list.

Because there are 84 dramas on that list and while some of them haven't aired yet, over two thirds of them are fully complete and sitting patiently, ready for me to watch at my own leisure whenever I want.

And, unfortunately, up until now I've been so over-faced with how many dramas there were waiting for me that I didn't want.

At all.

As in I was actively avoiding watching anything off my Want-To-Watch list.

As you can imagine this has been frustrating because 1) this is the opposite of what a Want-To-Watch it's for (I put the dramas on there for a reason after all) and 2) not very conducive to making the big, scary number go down, quite the opposite in fact.

So I've found myself at a bit of an impasse.

And to break that impasse I have come up with (what I hope is) a foolproof solution (because there is nothing more fool than having to trick yourself into doing something you want to do anyway).

The Watch It Or Drop It Challenge

Rationale:

I have been avoiding watching dramas on my Want-To-Watch list because:

1) I'm feeling overwhelmed with the amount of dramas currently on there and end up feeling time pressured to watch them all.

2) Linked to this, I'm worried about making the "wrong choice" (i.e not enjoying which ever drama I pick and being disappointed about something I was previously excited for, being in the wrong mood for a drama I would have otherwise enjoyed) leading to analysis/choice paralysis where I end up being unable to pick anything at all.

As such I need a system that:

1) Takes aways the element of choice, at least in the initial stages.

2) Removes some of the pressure to enjoy every drama I pick and allows me to celebrate both a "watch" or a "drop".

Rules:

1) Dramas are selected completely at random using a random number picker (this random number picker to be precise, isn't she gorgeous?).

Unless it hasn't aired yet (in which case I obviously can't watch it, I'll do a lot for this challenge but not bend time and physics) I have to give it a go. I can't spin the wheel again. What I get is what I watch (or drop).

2) I watch it or I drop it (self-explanatory, really, given the name of the challenge but it's something my brain clearly needs reinforced otherwise we wouldn't be here in the first place). A drop has just as much "value" as a watch in terms of continuing my learning curve about my drama tastes and there's no shame in not liking something I thought I would enjoy.

3) I can take as long as I need to decide if it's a watch or a drop, the only condition is that if I am watching it, I actually have to be enjoying it. This is not an endurance test or an exercise in how long I can guilt myself into watching something (5 minutes before the end of the final episode is the current record by the way, incase anyone's interested), this is me making sure I...

4) ✨ Have fun ✨ There are many things in life that aren't fun, watching dramas should not be one of those things (although they are allowed to make me so uncontrollably, that I will allow, nay even encourage).

🎉 And there we have it! My own little challenge for 2024 🎉

I'm feeling very pleased with myself but let's see how long I can keep it up, unless something drastic happens I'm planning to start a little early and pick the first drama tomorrow. I'm going to be post the whole challenge here (which dramas get picked, pre-watch thoughts, whether I watched or dropped it and why, etc) for accountability's sake because I know myself well enough to know that if I don't then this whole meticulous plan isn't happening. I also think it could be a nice little momento, if this whole challenge is successful, something to look back on from the time I bravely took on and defeated a list of my own creation.

And so without further ado,

[companionwolf]

Like Real People Do - #1

Or: here is my first peice in this 'Garden!F/O!Central suddenly exists in reality' verse.

If you're wondering why he's like this, because of his verse being what it is, he's a lot more me and a lot less of any Central, even F/O!Central. It's... a bit convoluted, even to me lmao. I think it is like... I have that way of seeing him, but that isn't the only one? I dunno.

Also the weird not AU not a verse how I see him sort of iteration of him is called Garden!F/O!Central now I guess.

Under the cut for convenience.

Central is, isn't, it doesn't really matter, until all at once he exists, and not just in the garden -- he exists like they do, and he is not them anymore, not in the way that's correct and important. 

It's wrong is all he can think numbly, assaulted on every front of every sense by every iota of human life that he only ever pretended to have.

It's all so wrong.

Central is curled up somewhere dark and warm and woodem, head near his knees, breathing rapidly. The scent of autumn air sweeping through from somewhere makes his hyperventilating go down a tick -- he knows that smell, that's a good thing, he likes that.

Right? He likes it? Or was he just made to? Does that matter? Before it didn't, but here, here--

His head feels weird, dizzy, light. Black spots float in his vision. Central tries to deliberately slow his inhales and exhales, tries to do for himself what he would do for them, what they'd do for him in this situation. It isn't working.

Frantically he uncurls, gets to his feet. He's in a shed of some sort, with late afternoon sun through unseen trees dappling the aged wood. He looks around, noticing how empty it is. Someone could use this, he thinks blearily.

That's not important, though. Central tries to reorient himself. He's got to find the Commander; they'll know what to do. They have to. If they don't, then they'll be able to help, right?

He pushes open the shed door, cringes at the sun in his eyes, lifts a hand to shield from it. 

He steps out into a backyard that's been kept fairly under control, that has a collection of raised garden beds nearby, that has a screened porch and someone sitting there reading a book.

They look up--

Central smiles in relief.

"Commander!"

His commander blinks, squinting at him. They look once, then again. Their face twists in a expression he can't understand at all. "Central?"

He nods enthusiastically, coming toward the porch. Then he stops.

The Commander looks...

Afraid?

They're afraid? Of him? Something in his chest feels bad, aches. They shouldn't be afraid. Well, anything is okay with feelings, so he can't say shouldn't, but they know him-- he is them. Was.

Wait.

Is that the problem? That he's here? The same as them? They're staring at him now. He stares back, lost. We can't both exist, he thinks numbly.

It's not quite true, but for them it was always part of the deal, part of why he is and was and they're going to not want him. They don't want him.

It hits him then, that they're scared of him, that they will not want him here because he is real.

Central feels his throat tighten. "I don't know what's happened," he calls to them. "I was ... me and you and in the garden and then I was here and I don't know what's happened and -- "

The Commander looks conflicted.

"You can come onto the porch," they say finally.

Central comes up slowly, fumbles with the sliding screen door. He stands there, unsure. The Commander stands, gets a little closer, eyeing him. "Tell me," they say, "something only he... that I would know and nobody else. Or I will..."

They falter. They look downright terrified. His chest does that thing again, where it feels so bad it's physical, and he wants to apologize. He didn't try to come here, it wasn't intentional. He doesn't know what happened, why he's here.

He's not supposed to exist. Not in this way.

Central takes a breath. The Commander is waiting for his answer. "You need me to save you," he says, and his voice shakes. "I can't do that....I think that's still true, actually. Anyway, I can love you. You can love me. It has to be enough...it won't be."

Their eyes moisten. "It is you," they say softly.

"Some iteration anyway," Central says in a mumble. "I'll-- I'll go. I know you -- the me that I am, was, you -- being here isn't good, isn't right."

They look conflicted again. "You're right," they say slowly, "that I don't...I want you but not enough to where you can hurt me. That means not being real. That's why we can't both exist."

He nods.

"But you're here," they continue. "Probably better it's you-- a F/O!Central who's not would probably be even more overwhelmed, less able to cope. In any case I am not just going to leave you to wander off and do Dog knows what-- how much do you even really understand about being, and human at that, when you're here like me now?"

Central hesitates.

They meet his gaze. "It's okay if you're confused," they say quietly. "I'd be too."

"It...hurts," he says, and it's a whine.

The Commander frowns. "Hurts?"

He nods.

"What do you mean?"

He tries to put it to words -- "There's so much I'm feeling in my head and in - in my body. Everything I felt I was just emulating from how you feel, how you experience. I wasn't ever -- I've never felt any of this, not really. I'm not meant to." His voice wobbles, and he looks away.

The Commander's face softens.

"We'll figure it out," they say. "I'm sorry I wrote you the way I did; doesn't help you much here."

Their hand reaches for his. And Central laces fingers together with theirs for the first time.

[life-of-clexa]

Let me just say that this is the first time I’ve ever written something like this, I’m not the best writer but I am proud of it and wanted to post somewhere. Please give me some tips on how to improve it, and also don’t be afraid to tell me if you don’t like something.(Sidenote: Clarke is not dead, I know it seems that way, but she’s not I swear. Also it won’t turn out to just be platonic I promise) I’d love to continue this but it would require me having some help from somebody. If you’re interested or have any ideas for how to continue please let me know!😊❤️

THEN: The first thing she remembers is blue. Just blue. The kind of blue that artists paint the oceans with, or crystal clear water. So much blue she thought she could die right there, staring at a complete stranger with luscious blonde hair, and deep blue eyes, a woman whom she had never met before, but felt like she had known her entire life. A hand reached out to shake her own "Clarke. Nice to meet you." "Lexa, nice to meet you too. Have you been here before? I feel like I know you..." Blue eyes stared back at hers with a glint in them. "No, but I get that a lot, I think it's the eyes, people tend to find comfort in them I guess." "That makes sense" Lexa responded, "Well I guess we better get to work then huh?" she questioned. All she got was a small, but polite smile in return. From then on they were the best of friends. There wasn't a single day that they weren't together, and there was nothing that could keep them apart.

NOW: Tired green eyes cracked open to see the sun peeking through the window, they explored, made note of the dresser across the room, the familiar face in the lone picture frame. Blue eyes squinting with happiness, smile so wide she could swear she saw it touch the ears of the beautiful blonde subject of the photo. They shifted over to the old sketchbook sitting on the edge. Memories came flooding back of sneaking glances just to see the beautiful drawings that the artist created. They jumped to the nightstand next to the bed, the phone that sat on it, quietly buzzing. A long arm with quite a unique tattoo climbing up the bicep reached out to grab it. "Hello?" a hoarse crack in the words. "We're going out tonight, be ready by 10!" A voice shrilled from the other end of the line, "Anya I really don't feel like it. It's just too soon." she rasped and hung up the phone. It rang again. She ignored it. This went on for about twenty minutes until she finally picked up the phone again. "Alexandra Hope Woods!" Her sister berated her for hanging up, "It's been a year, you have to get out there at some point." "Exactly Anya, it's been a year, exactly one year since my life was torn to shreds. Like a tiger devouring its meal." Lexa reminded her. Anya sighed and shook her head, though the other girl couldn't see it, she knew what she was about to say. "If you don't at least try, you're never going to get back on your feet..." she whispered. "Anya I don't want to! I was happy then, and that was taken from me, so unless you can reverse time and draw my past back to the present, I'm never going to be able to get over it! The only reason I stayed is because I made a promise, and I'm not breaking a promise to someone that isn't even here to defend it." She hung up the phone again. Lexa felt bad for yelling at her sister, so she decided to shoot her a quick text. "I'm sorry. I'm just not ready yet. I don't know that I'll ever be. I just need time." And that was the end of it.

[unhingedwomandiaries]

Last night my brain decided to turn my REM sleep into some sort of twisted game show called "Who Wants to Pee in Public?"

I hate whatever part of my subconscious that thinks bathroom anxiety needs a fucking scoreboard.

I'm desperate for a wee, the kind where you're doing that subtle knee-squeezing dance that makes you look like you're trying to crack a walnut between your thighs. Normal enough, right? Wrong.

There's a massive basketball timer on the toilet door, counting down like it's the final seconds of a championship game. Because apparently my brain thinks bladder relief should come with a side of competitive sports.

Ugh. I detest dreams that turn basic bodily functions into Olympic events.

But wait, it gets better. I'm finally sitting there, mid-stream, doing what any normal person does in a toilet (solving world peace, obviously), when people start wandering in like it's fucking happy hour at Wetherspoons.

They're just... settling in. Making themselves comfortable. Like I've accidentally stumbled into some sort of toilet-based social club. "Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?" Yeah mate, perfect for a chat while I'm literally pissing, thanks for asking.

Why don't dream people understand basic bathroom etiquette?

One woman actually brought in a fucking tea set. A TEA SET. In a public toilet. Started pouring out Earl Grey like we're at the bloody Ritz. "One lump or two?" How about zero lumps and get the fuck out of my cubicle?

Anyone who thinks public toilets are appropriate venues for afternoon tea are crazy.

The worst part? I'm sitting there trying to finish up, but every time I think I'm done, more people squeeze in. It's like a clown car situation, but instead of clowns, it's random strangers wanting to discuss their weekend plans while I'm on the bog.

Is this what my subconscious thinks of society now? That we're all just one unlocked door away from turning every private moment into a bloody social media livestream?

Maybe it's a metaphor for something deeper. Or maybe it's just what happens when you drink three cups of tea before bed and fall asleep watching episodes of "Would I Lie to You?"

Either way, I woke up needing an actual wee and checking the bathroom for hidden tea sets and unwanted guests before I dared sit down.

At least nobody tried to start a book club meeting in there. Though knowing my brain, that's probably scheduled for tonight's showing of "Toilet Tales: The Sequel."

P.S. If anyone ever tries to serve me tea in a public toilet in real life, they're getting the cup somewhere the sun doesn't shine.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Checking in... checking out

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett Locke

I expected him to run to the house, jump into his trunks as soon as soon as possible and be begging me to take him back to the beach already but he's a little bit tired.

"Are you sure you don't want to nap? We could lay down together for a few minutes."

"That would be nice. I think it's the heat wearing me out. I'm used to air conditioning."

"Yeah, the sun can wipe you out hard. Want to get in bed or on the couch and watch something?"

It doesn't really matter to me, I just want to close my eyes for a few minutes but he might get some better sleep on the bed.

"Rhys is taking a nap too so we won't be late. Okay, can we find a cartoon?"

"Sure darling."

Fifteen minutes later I have my head tipped back and he's lying on my lap sawing logs.

It's one of those cool recliner couches so my feet are up and I really could not be more comfortable.

I need this couch for my place.

It's one of those things I never knew I needed until this very moment but now it's a mission and will happen somehow.

Considering what a workout my couch is getting lately, it's going to need to be replaced sooner rather than later.

Part of me is regretting everything that happened at the mini-golf place.

I meant what I said, I thought it would be a super good idea for Finn to get to know another little but he has not really been in little space since they met.

He's skimming near it on occasion but nothing like he was this morning and yesterday.

I don't mind, it's not a problem that he's not except that I feel like it's my fault and he wants to be but isn't just because of meeting Rhys.

If anything I expected him to be living it up but I was obviously wrong.

I would cancel this afternoon if I could but I don't have Quincy's number.

We could just go to a different section of beach but that's lame and wrong and maybe it'll be fine.

Maybe Finnegan just needs some time to get brave and come out of his shell... I hope so.

He sleeps for about forty five minutes and wakes up slow.

"I'm so groggy," he complains.

"We don't have to be there for an hour, you're fine. Want a drink?"

"Yeah, I'm thirsty. Thank you."

I help him sit up and grab a Yoo-Hoo box from the fridge for him and a soda for me.

We need some groceries but I'll just manage until tomorrow and pick stuff up in Baltimore.

Seems silly to drive it the whole way back here but I'll have time to go while he's working.

"Will you be okay here for a few minutes? I want to take some pictures from our balcony."

What I really want is some sunrise photos but that may not happen.

My plan is to get a few that Finnegan really loves and frame them up for him for Christmas as a reminder of our trip.

Maybe they'll end up in his new office once they're up and running.

Either way, I think he'll like them.

"Hmm."

He's not quite sitting up anymore and he may very well be asleep by the time I get back.

I decide to grab our suits and take them down with me so that he doesn't have to come upstairs and I'm surprised that he's up and getting himself snack.

"Hey darling, are you okay with seeing Rhys and Quincy this afternoon? If not we can go somewhere else or stay here and play in the pool. If we see them again I'll tell them that I got horrible food poisoning from the cheeseburger."

He smiles at me and finishes his banana.

"I think it'll be fun, I'm just nervous. I don't know how to explain it."

I open my arms and he falls against my chest.

"I don't want you nervous, I want you to relax and enjoy your vacation."

"I am Emmett... a lot. This has been wonderful. I really hope we get to come back tomorrow."

"Me too. What about this? I am not going to bring up the slides tomorrow although Rhys probably will. If he does I will look to you for a decision. You don't have to say anything, just let me know what you want to do. Either way is fine with me, okay?"

"Okay, thank you. I mean, it could be a lot of fun but we haven't even used our pool yet."

"Exactly. We will have fun either way so no worries. Finnegan, can I butt my nose into your business for a second?"

"Um, sure."

"I think you should try to be in little space this afternoon if you want to be. Rhys and Quincy sure aren't going to judge you and maybe you'll have a lot of fun if you just let go and play with someone."

"I play with you."

"Yeah, and we have fun but I don't think it's the same as playing with someone closer to your age."

I keep waiting for him to break the hug but he just stays here a few minutes.

Finally he says

"I know this sounds stupid but I'm sort of afraid to play with him. What if I say something that really upsets him?"

More than the spanking he's getting?

Finnegan's not mean so I doubt that will happen.

"I guess you just apologize, just like Quincy apologized to you. I mean you're still people, I think the same basic rules apply."

"Okay, you're right, I'm being stupid."

No... I push him away enough to see him.

"You're not being stupid. This is new and you're right, we don't know all the rules but they might and we could learn a lot from them. And if not, and all it is is a fun afternoon with another little, that's not a bad thing either. If you want to come home just tell me you're tired and we'll come back. Okay?"

"Thank you Emmett. Let's get dressed, we have a castle to build."

There's my boy.

We get back to the beach and situated not far from our usual spot.

I look around for Quincy but don't see him yet so I turn my attention to Finnegan.

"Okay, do you have a plan, Finn? What should it look like?"

"Big. And I want towers and a moat."

That we can do.

"Seems reasonable. How big?"

He stands up and starts scooting his toes through the sand in a big circle.

"This is the moat on the outside and inside is ALL castle."

And now it's no longer reasonable.

"Finn, that is a six foot circle."

I could lay down in it.

"Yep. Can you fill the buckets with wet sand?"

We're ignoring the size, are we?

"So I'm gonna be the mule and bring you a thousand packed buckets?"

"Not a thousand. Like a hundred. We have two."

He hoists them both by their handles and gives them to me.

I take them from him and can't help but laugh.

"So only fifty trips, no problem."

"Exactly. And I'll do all the little ones. I'm gonna make the tops, where the archers stand to shoot. And I'll dig the moat. See? Fair and square. I'm a good boy."

Him calling himself a good boy does things for me that should not happen in a swimsuit.

I go down a bit further towards the water where the sand is wetter and fill both buckets.

One has a flat bottom and the other one has turrets built into it so that when it flips over, they're on top.

"No clue why they don't make the buckets round, they're impossible to stack this way."

I set them down next to him but he doesn't seem to know what to do with them either.

"Unless you only want it one level."

That will be less work.

"No, big."

He flips over the plain one and then grabs some sand to try to pack around and make it into a cylinder.

"And now we put the other one on top," he says, grabbing it.

I'm amazed when he tips it over and it stays.

"Wow. Didn't think that would work. Okay, two more buckets?"

"No, ninety-eight more please."

He's too cute.